Before you have kids, you can’t imagine the unconditional love you’ll feel for them. For some mothers it’ll take a little while but in the end it’s just there. Everything you considered love before that moment seems unworthy of the actual word.
I love my kids. More than anything in the world. I can not imagine my life without them and I never ever would return them (if that was possible…) BUT – and I know you’ve been waiting for the “but”: they drive me crazy, insane, mad and sometimes I wonder if their sole purpose is to ruin me.
Let me share with you our morning routine (this was before Christmas): after getting up and getting dressed, I wake the kids. They are cute and sleepy and want to cuddle. Then they remember the advent calendar(s) which hang in the living room. My arms, which only moments before were filled with warm cuddly bodies, are suddenly empty and all I feel is a cold rush of air and slowly descending dust. That’s how quick they race off!
They’ll unpack the little gifts from their respective Playmobil calendars (themed: “the royal wedding” and “police catches and shoots thieves and skeleton” – at least that’s what I gathered from the weird combination of little toys…) and then turn to their four chocolate calendars – yes – they’ve got two each…In sage foresight, I didn’t buy any and just waited for the family to visit.
After that magic strikes! My beautiful, quick, jumpy kids transform in front of my eyes to “slow, heavy-set snails that have to crawl over huge, muddy mountains” and in that moment my game is over. It takes them approximately 30 minutes to spoon a bowl of soggy rice crispies into their mouthes, which is weird seeing as during every other meal they shovel their food into their mouths as if someone wanted to take it away from them.
They also seem to be incapable of taking off their pajamas and putting on clothes – especially those mean, mean socks whose only purpose is to torture poor kids that want to be quick! I also noticed that kids who were able to put on their own jackets from age 1.5 on, suddenly forgot how that works!
This might all seem very funny to you, but I have to admit, that even though I am trying I have my bad moments and after the 50th attempt to get a tooth-brush into a very talkative mouth (princess girl) or a constantly threequarter-closed mouth (dude-boy), I loose my temper. I start roaring and trying different techniques to get us any closer to the end goal, which is to get to school on time.
Before moving into our new place a few weeks back, we had to take two different subways to get to school. We always arrived with 15 minutes to spare. Since moving here (two houses down from school), dude-boy tends to arrive in class at 8am on the dot – or not.
When we are really late, I get him out the door first and afterwards get little girl and myself ready. Recently I noticed though that the closer we get to kindergarten, the slower she walks…A couple of days back she slowed down the minute we left the house. Instead of my usual approach of just dragging her behind me or trying to engage her in conversation, I followed her lead and we gradually came to a full stop. We both stood there in the middle of the sidewalk, just staring ahead of us. After two minutes, she turned her head, looked at me with big eyes and asked: “what are we doing, Mummy?” I answered truthfully that I had just followed her lead and we continued walking. For about three steps, cause that’s when she noticed that there was snow (her definition) – mud (my definition) on the parked cars…it took us even longer to get to kindergarten (which is two roads up), as she had great fun picking up mud (or so-called snow) and throwing it at my legs.
I’ll end my tirade with a little episode that happened a couple of weeks back. Hubby and I went to an Indian restaurant with three other friendly couples. Another mother and I joked about how much we love our kids, especially when they are asleep, in another room or busy. Our husbands called us bad mothers but I’d say we are just honest. I love my kids more than anything in the world but I also love having time for myself and getting some time without them once in a while.