When you are a parent you know that mornings are the worst time of the day. In the short span of an hour you are overwhelmed with unconditional love for your kids and at the same time want to give them up for adoption at least a dozen times. Here is a quick walk through a normal morning in my house.
6am alarm goes off – Why? – I never put it at 6am!!
6.15am alarm goes off again – WTF???
6.20am – jumping out of bed, I remember why I set the alarm for 6am – I wanted to wash and dry the cleaning cloths before the cleaning lady arrives at 08.30.
6.25am alarm goes off again and I get into the shower (thankfully noticing on time that the cats seem to have peed on the towel in front of it)
6.57am after blow drying my hair and doing all my face stuff, surfer dude (now 7) stumbles into the bath room and gives me a hug. Me: „Just wanted to get dressed and wake you up“. Him: „Just wanted to wake YOU up.“ On that thought we go back to bed and cuddle for two more minutes.
7.01am Me: „Get up and get dressed!“ – he just snuggles deeper into the covers. I get dressed and after he zips up my dress send dude to his room to get dressed. He turns around, smiles at me and says: „You look beautiful Mummy.“
7.06am: Find Dude on the sofa looking at his football cards. After a heated debate whether brioche is an acceptable breakfast or not, defrosting my berries, feeding the cats and simultaneously putting stuff into the dishwasher, I wander into the kids room to wake up princess girl (now 5).
7.15am: princess girl has been „angry-crying“ non-stop for 5 minutes. “She wants to sleep. She wants to get dressed in bed. She wants different clothes than the ones we laid out together the night before…” I try to remember the breathing exercises from pregnancy yoga and breathe in deeply.
7.25am In the end, she chooses the exact same outfit I had laid out…I turn around and notice dude has used the last 15 minutes to put on his underpants (WOW), while playing with his tiptoi Dinosaur book. I urge him very friendly (aka scream) to hurry up.
7.30am while mixing my smoothie and trying to not spill anything on my clothes, I try to mentally prepare for my job interview later today.
7.32am surfer dude leisurely walks into the living room, as usual kicking a soft toy like a football and sits down at the table. Me: „Did you pack your maths stuff?“ No reaction.
7.33am I can’t ignore princess girls’ wailing for her brother any longer and stomp into her room. To my slightly frustrated „what??“, she goes „ I want dude to help me dress“. Me:“ That’s not possible, he needs to go to school; you’ve got 5 minutes, get dressed now or you’ll have to eat breakfast at kindergarten“ (this is her horror scenario). She wails, while I leave the room, on my way picking up clothes, toys and tidying up stuff – don’t want the cleaning lady to think I am messy… 🙂
7.35am Princess turns up in her PJs to go to the toilet. Me (warning tone):“3 minutes“
7.45am while drinking my smoothie and preparing a snack for dude, I wonder for the 10th time whether I can stick to the 4 week-alcohol-ban I have put on myself.
7.46am I urge dude to brush his teeth, while going back to check on princess girl. Wow, she already wears her tights and a vest top. Me:“Why did you put on a different vest top?“ She:“ vest tops that are inside-out are stupid“ Hm…I seem to drift off to a white sandy beach.
7.48am After getting top and pants on princess girl I finally get her to the table, only for dude to quietly sneak past me into my room.
7.52am Me: „Dude!! 8 minutes to eight (School starts at 8am), put your shoes and jacket on!“
7.53am Dude in jacket, hat and shoes. Me: „You are not wearing a sweater, take off your jacket again!“ He stomps his foot a couple of times but complies after I remind him that 0 degrees and snow is very cold.
7.55am He checks our calendar and notices that it’s only 11 months till Christmas. Me:“Where’s your hat? Did you pack your math stuff?“ Him:“ Ah no, where is it?“ After two minutes of frantic search, I locate the hat inside his sweater and the school stuff on his desk and with two minutes to spare send him to school.
8.00am After asking (aka ordering) princess girl to get her tooth-brush ready and come into my bath room, I am momentarily unsure whether the right contact lens has made it into my eye. Seeing as I can’t see it lying around and everything is blurry, I assume it did. I put my make-up on, noticing that my lips look kinda weird. No time to worry though.
8.10am I am fully dressed and start a sweat. Princess starts a discussion because she wants to wear ballerinas instead of boots. She lies on the floor between my legs, screaming and kicking while I try to force the boots on her. I get slightly aggressive, she looks up at me and says: „I am sorry Mummy“. Jeez.
8.12am the cleaner calls in sick.
8.35am I successfully deliver princess to kindergarten and am finally on my way to work.